MAMMOGRAM!!! AAhHH!!!

Today I went for the dreaded mammogram. I really wonder who invented that machine. You know it had to be a man & one with sadomasochistic tendencies. Who would ever think that the best way to look for lumps in a woman's breasts would be to mash them flat as a pancake in between 2 plexiglass plates. And have you ever looked down to see what they look like mashed that flat? Let me just say, DON'T DO IT! If you are like me, and wear a 34 A on a good day, you know what kind of work goes into making those puppies flat while standing up straight, holding onto the arm rail with a death grip, pulling your shoulder back, making sure your hair doesn't get in the way, trying not to let the flimsy robe fall off completely, and all the while HOLDING YOUR BREATH!!!! When Mouse called to see how it went, I told him how horrible it was and guess what he said? "Ah, couldn't be that bad." I asked him how he thought it might feel if we placed his appendage up on a plexiglass pedestal and proceeded to smash it flat as a pancake with a plexiglass plate. Guess what? He had no comment.